Warning: Pro Paleo Lifestyle article here.

Warning: If you don’t know what Paleo is watch the video then proceed. I promise this will all be informative. I promise I hate the song as much as you:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PhB5uyyKJ0

There are many things I am tired of. People talking badly about Tom Brady. The cold. People not being able to drive when it rains or snows 1″. These are all trivial things that really have no consequence on my life other than daily angry outbursts that only Dexter can console me on.

There is, however, something I am tired of in the CrossFit world that is actually kind of disturbing, and it has to do with the way people are eating.

Think about that for a second. There is something out there that we directly have control over and that thing may be the most important aspect of our lives in determining how long we live.

Wouldn’t we want to do EVERYTHING we can do make sure this has the greatest positive effect possible on our lives every single day? Regardless of how much we squat because of it?

I am a big believer in the health benefits of eating clean. There are specifics that when followed can be determined to be following Paleo, but when it comes down to it it’s just about eating clean, clean meaning without unnatural aspects that contribute to inflammation. This means no inflammatory proteins like gluten or lechitin, no unnatural sugar (as in 0.00 grams of it), no artificial additives or preservatives. Call it what you want, but when it comes down to it it’s just about eating clean. Paleo is an easy way of categorizing it.

I am the most Paleo person there is. NOT. I clearly have my good days and bad days, good weeks and bad weeks. I ate enough non-Paleo food to kill Jimmy Paleo this past weekend 55 times. I enjoy eating things like pizza, chicken fingers, cake, and ice cream, and I enjoy drinking and methamphetamine.

I also enjoy making jokes about being a meth addict.

I believe in the Paleo lifestyle because it is simple, proven science. I also do not take excuses from people who tell me they can’t follow it. Your body was meant to process natural ingredients like meat, vegetables, fruit, and nuts. It wasn’t made to process things created in labs, or spliced so many times it doesn’t represent it’s original form in any way.

So the thing I am tired of is the prevailing mentality that Paleo is not the thing to do anymore because the big name CF competitors don’t follow it. All I care about is Stacey follows it and that’s good enough for me! The worst thing to happen to the CF community was the story coming out of the 2012 CrossFit Games that Rich Froning was eating Kentucky Fried Chicken backstage after Day 2. Ever sense then every Jim, Dick, and Sally Crossfitter think they can gorge on ice cream and friend chicken just because they hit a hard squat workout on a Friday afternoon. You can’t turn on the social medias without seeing someone bash Paleo, or brag about their pizza they crushed, or the ice cream they made, and how it’s all for “GAINZZZZZZZ”.

I hate gainz, especially when it has a # in front of it. Hate.

The pizza you are eating, the ice cream you are crushing, isn’t giving you gainz, it is giving you disease and sickness that will kill you at age 55. Not you like you reading this but the proverbial you as in the person posting on Insta….ok never mind.

I hate this. I hate this mentality that EVERYONE can eat like crap because it helps your squat go up. It doesn’t. The reason some elite crossfitters can eat that way at specific times is because they need the calories to perform the immense amount of work they did or are about to do. It still isn’t good for them but they are trading long term negatives for short term benefits. We are all guilty of this at times, and an argument can be made that a Pop-Tart or a burger with a bun here and there during a peak volume cycle won’t really have a negative affect on your lifespan.

The problem is doing it every single day for years will have a negative affect. Eating the crap that Paleo avoids kills you. Plain and simple. Cancer cells feed off of sugar. Excess sugar is stored in the blood and eventually in your liver, kidneys, and muscle tissue. Liver cancer, ever know anyone who survives that for too long? Me neither. But hey eating that ice cream is all about the GAINZ baby! Gainz right to the grave. I’m going to make a new program called Gainz to Graves: Eating Your Way to Stardom then Death.

I was totally healthy and happy on Friday. I went on a holiday bender of the weekend, eating burgers with buns, french fries, so much cake and ice cream, and booze. Today? Sick. Not just worn down and tired. Actually ill. Couldn’t’ leave my apartment all day. Congestion, stomach sickness, severe fatigue. Why? Because I ate poorly. I didn’t just somehow catch a disease while sleeping last night. My body is reacting to the crap I fed it constantly for 3 days.

Our bodies are amazing and can adapt to things very quickly, so if I continued eating this way I wouldn’t be sick all the time I would just adapt to feeling this way all the time. It isn’t that eating poorly isn’t the that bad for you, it’s that your body just deals with it. So if you don’t eat clean yet this means you have existed for years operating at about 25% efficiency. That is just a random percentage I threw out there but it really is about true.

Eating poorly kills you. It literally makes you sick. I am proof of it this very day. If you are not on the Paleo lifestyle train I urge you to start, immediately. I promise you you can do it and it is worthwhile. 3-4 years ago I couldn’t’ sleep a lick, I couldn’t’ survive a day without a nap and tons of coffee, and I never had the physique I wanted. I had allergies so bad I had to take Claritin the second I woke up. I even had Exzema. No lie. Rashes would develop on my hands and feet almost monthly. Finally after bombing another CF competition I decided to listen to the stupid diet the stupid girl I worked with followed. She happened to be a pretty good CrossFit competitor who actually followed and preached a healthy lifestyle regardless of performance. Yes, the Stacey you all know and love convinced me to finally go Paleo. Within a week I slept for 8 straight hours in a night for the first time since I could remember. My hands and feet cleared up and I haven’t had a breakout since. Even after a bad weekend like this past weekend I am still on average 20 pounds lighter than I averaged back then even though I was doing CrossFit daily.

Our body was made to endure. We were created to thrive, to win, to succeed in the face of anything Nature could throw at us. We aren’t supposed to be sick (it’s not just “the season”). We aren’t supposed to hurt even if we are training constantly. The human body is an amazing piece of machinery that when treated the right way is meant to be beaten down and recover in a matter of hours and do so day in and day out for decade after decade after decade. Trust me, I might enjoy food and drink more than anyone else reading this, and I promise you I will have my days and times of the year where I don’t think twice about eating bad food and having a drink. If you enjoy it then enjoy it. But I promise you, if you aren’t on the Paleo train you want to be on it. Immediately. It isn’t too hard, it isn’t too intimidating. It might be 2 weeks of learning, which is actually fun, and then you will literally have changed your life.

I am one of millions who can say “I don’t’ even remember what not being Paleo was like”. Detractors say it’s crazy, but crazy is doing the same thing while expecting the same result. If you are unhappy with your lifestyle, with yourself physically, with your energy or your lack thereof, with anything about your physical self and you DON’T follow a clean lifestyle, then you are crazy.

Hey it might be hard but the alternative is dying. And we are the crazy ones?

TUESDAY

BASE

Strength: Bench Press
6 sets of 2 reps.

– Remember when working for sets of 2. The goal is to hit or get as close as possible to hitting your 1 rep max for a set of 2.

WOD: 8 minute AMRAP
3 STOH 135/95
7 Pull-Ups
3 Pistols (each leg)
7 Deadlift 135/95

PLUS

Strength: Bench Press
6 sets of 2 reps.

– Remember when working for sets of 2. The goal is to hit or get as close as possible to hitting your 1 rep max for a set of 2.

WOD: 8 minute AMRAP
3 STOH 135/95
7 Pull-Ups
3 Pistols (each leg)
7 Deadlift 135/95

SkWAT Team: 30 Strict HSPU, 20 Rope Pull-ups (extension to chest)

THE PROGRAM

1. Warmup quickly then
5 minute practice strict MU
– if you have them on rings practice Bar

then choose based on ability:
a. New to Strict MU (either have never done them or just got them)
WOD: 10m AMRAP
Strict MU

b. “Have” them
WOD: 3 Rounds (cap @ 10m)
3 Strict MU
25′ HS Walk, stopped every 3 steps for 1 second
25 Double Unders
– If you excel at strict MU then add some difficulty : L sit, weighted, Bar

2. Strength: Bench Press
6 sets of 2 reps
*perform 3 L Pull-up with 3113 tempo (check with your coach about this tempo) after each set

– Remember when working for sets of 2. The goal is to hit or get as close as possible to hitting your 1 rep max for a set of 2.

3. WOD: 8 minute AMRAP
3 STOH 185/135
7 CTB Pull-Ups
3 Weighted Pistols (each leg) 35/25
7 Deadlift 185/135

4. SkWAT Team: EMOM 8m
O: 5-10 Strict HSPU
E: 5 TnG Power Clean (increasing)